Your twenties are a strange time. Some people are buying houses, some are having babies, some travelling the world and others are training for a marathon or achieving a lifetime goal. All of it is broadcasted on social media for people to see. Social media, whilst it has many positives – including the ability to stay connected – can contribute to feelings of loneliness and inadequacy compared to one’s perceptions of others.
At the start of my twenties, I was fresh out of university and had just moved to a new city, full of optimism as I started my first graduate job. Living in a city where I knew no one was daunting but I was ready for the challenge as it is akin to leaving home for university. However, after only six months of traditional office life, lockdown hit us all. My bedroom became my office; my professional development was done remotely, and events like the long-awaited Christmas party became a daytime virtual quiz with colleagues I had never had the chance to meet in person.
As lockdown extended, the loneliness and isolation grew to a point where it was unmanageable. I had to take the decision to leave my life in Leeds for my own wellbeing. I moved back in with my family, which I was very lucky to be able to do; however, it was an adjustment for us all as I had not lived in their house for several years.
I found a new role in a local organisation during the later stages of Covid measures, but the loneliness that I attribute to not having the chance to meet others and develop both professionally and personally, continued.
Nobody checked if I had an adequate space to work from home; my equipment for that role was left outside of my door on my first day, and in my previous company, it was over six months before I met any of my colleagues in person. Even as restrictions lifted, I found that people were reluctant to connect in person and many were unconcerned for younger or newer members of teams whose reality was working alone in shared or challenging environments, trying to get to grips with the responsibilities without the benefits of an office environment previously offered.
Now I am in my late twenties. I still feel lonely at times, and I have lost time due to the pandemic. Other people may perceive that I have achieved a lot in my twenties (and I have), such as passing my driving test and going on solo adventures. However, perception is key.
Behind my social media highlights, there have been periods of loneliness – a woman struggling behind the scenes, with feelings of inadequacy.
Managing loneliness can be difficult and it’s often dealt with very privately, behind a cheery smile or an “I’m okay.”
With new ways of office working post-Covid, I believe it’s important to check in with others and take time to grab a coffee with colleagues. For people living in shared accommodation, with perhaps only a bedroom as their personal space, working from home can be a double-edged sword. It’s important that businesses recognise and understand this.
Finally, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to ask for help, whether it be professional or personal, and to use the resources that are available for support.
