In the next of our series of interviews for Pride month, Preston talks about the importance of visible and vocal support for the LGBTQIA+ community.

Preston joined Norton Rose Fulbright in Calgary as an articling student – the equivalent of a trainee – in 2019, having moved from the U.S. with his now husband. Law is Preston’s second career – he previously worked in the non-profit sector – and his decision about which firm to join was a carefully considered one.

“I was out when I started interviewing with firms in Canada – but it’s an ongoing process, coming out. Every time you meet a new person you have to come out again. Every new environment is a process of determining who you are safe with and who might bristle at hearing that you are partnered with someone of the same gender.

“When we were working in the U.S., my husband was always very honest when talking to colleagues about our relationship, but I was more guarded. I worried about the reaction of corporate America.

“So when it came to starting my legal career in Calgary, I wanted to find somewhere I could feel comfortable being myself. In meeting with firms, I’d try to gauge the culture and look for subtle clues. By necessity you learn to do this when you’re queer to protect yourself.”

Preston was introduced to NRF by a friend and quickly felt comfortable. “Everyone I met was lovely – and I knew I’d eventually feel safe being out at work at NRF. It definitely took a while, but I’m slowly starting to feel more comfortable being open about the fact that I’m queer with my co-workers and the partnership. Obviously, inclusion is a journey, not a destination, but I think Norton Rose Fulbright is on its way and headed in the right direction.”

The partners at the Pride Parade

Not long after joining, Preston took part in NRF’s Pride celebrations. “We were the first law firm in Calgary to participate in the Pride Parade and I remember being excited to see partners and senior associates in attendance. It made a huge difference to have that support from senior colleagues. It’s made a huge difference in me feeling more at ease about being openly out at work – although I did think I was the only member of the queer community at NRF Calgary for a while.”

Preston recently joined NRF’s Pride committee and is looking forward to being able to hold in-person events again. “Holding virtual events during lockdown was great, but it’s not the same. For minority groups, visibility and being able to see yourself reflected in leadership is so important. Troy Ungerman, for example, has been a name I’ve known from my first few weeks on the job, even though he’s in Toronto. He is very visible at NRF Canada and has shared his story through various videos and publications. It makes a huge difference seeing yourself reflected in leadership.”

One of the crucial factors in creating a feeling of belonging, Preston says, is senior leadership making an effort to be seen supporting the LGBTQIA+ community.

“Quite often, minority groups will spend hours organising events but only their own community shows up – you feel a bit like no one else cares. But seeing senior leaders show support is an important signal to feeling supported. Growing up, I always felt that in corporate culture it was a case of ‘don’t be out until you know it’s safe’ – but we need to work to flip that on its head. People should be able to assume they’re safe unless proven otherwise.”

Preston’s advice to junior colleagues about coming out at work is “to find people you can trust and build relationships from there. Across the firm as a whole, so much support is available, so if you don’t know who the allies are in your office, reach out to the local, national, or global Pride network to get a start.”

Assumptions and aggression

When asked about microagressions, Preston says that what he finds most challenging is being visibly queer in public and going about his life doing the types of things hetero-presenting couples are able to do. He shares an experience, for example, of holding hands with his partner in public and getting an aggressive stare from someone. “I instantly dropped my hand and shrank back into myself because it doesn’t take much for those old feelings of shame to come flooding back. We still often don’t feel comfortable holding hands, let alone showing any affection in public, which is such a normal thing for a hetero-presenting couple to be able to do.”

That is why Pride is so important, Preston says. He explains that Pride started as a protest against raids on gay bars. “There’s still so much work to do. It’s especially troubling to see the rise in anti-LGBTQIA+ aggression, hate crimes, and violent attacks in recent years. Just the other day, I read about homes being burned to the ground in Baltimore that were displaying pride flags. Pride is important because it’s a celebration in the face of being told not to celebrate and in the face of the inherent danger that comes along with even showing up. But it’s also a way to shed light on oppression and misconceptions, and to come together to find solutions to these issues.”

When asked how colleagues can support the LGBTQIA+ community, Preston responds: “If you are in a room, behind closed doors, and you hear anti-LGBTQIA+ rhetoric, please speak up.

“Figure out how you might do that ahead of time – how, if you were to hear bigoted comments, you would address them. Sometimes people assume they have to be aggressively confrontational, but there are other ways to address those views that might be better received and might result in more meaningful change. The important thing is that you do say something. It means a lot and makes a difference.”