DISCLAIMER: please note this story contains content relating to grief and suicide.
It’s 22 years later. I am a lawyer, and I receive an email of what appears to be some firmwide marketing on health and wellness. I don’t have time to read that. I have urgent emails and advice to get out. I have drafts to get back to. I go to delete it when I see the words ‘we need to share our people’s honest stories about mental health’. And I catch myself holding my breath.
It's the small things – like a firm wide email, that simply wouldn’t have existed 22 years ago, when my mum died by suicide at the age of 37, leaving my sister (age 9) and I (age 3) behind. When she walked out of a mental health ward at a public hospital, the staff didn’t notice until it was far too late. When the coroner delivered a half-page report on her death, there was not a single recommendation.
There is (rightfully) a world of media on how we aren’t doing enough to support mental health and wellbeing in our everyday lives. But, when I think back on my mum and my family’s journey, I can’t help but acknowledge how far society has come.
It’s the little things that mum would never have experienced, like:
- my 90-year-old Nonna telling me she has been prescribed anti-depressants and that she wishes today’s doctors were around “in the old days”.
- a firm wide email acknowledging World Mental Health Day.
- a message from an old friend asking: “No, but seriously, are you doing okay?”.
- mandatory Mental Health First Aid Officers at work.
- personal, compassionate, family and domestic violence leave.
- a pro bono practice that dedicates a pillar of its workload to assisting individuals with poor mental health.
- free mental health services to employees and their family members.
- a male partner asking me to check up on a colleague because “they seem a little off today”; and
- an international law firm asking its staff for honest stories about mental health (including mine).
How privileged we are to live and work in a society that, now – more than ever – acknowledges and accepts the realities of mental health.
We must, of course, continue to hold ourselves accountable. To read those emails that we don’t have time to read. To check up on our mates and our colleagues. To have open and honest conversations about mental health (including our own). To acknowledge burn-out. To tap that Mental Health First Aid Officer on the shoulder. To book that EAP session. To accept that is it okay not to be okay.
We are obliged to do these things for all those people who didn’t get the opportunity.
If you are concerned about your mental health, or the mental health of someone you care about, you’re not alone and support is available.
Australia: Lifeline offers free confidential crisis support 24/7. Call 13 11 14 or visit www.lifeline.org.au.
Canada: For 24/7 crisis support, call or text 9-8-8 (toll-free) or visit https://988.ca.
South Africa: Lifeline offers free confidential crisis support 24/7. Call 0861 322 322 or visit https://www.lifelinejhb.org.za/.
UK: Crisis support is available at 111 online or call 111 and select the mental health option. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 for free and confidential 24/7 crisis text support.
US: 24/7 crisis support is available at https://988lifeline.org/ and by calling or texting 988. Conversations are free and confidential.
